Mailing food to TBF

First time user, and looking for way out. Can we does anyone know, if we mail fried fish to the Town Park post officer?
Will there be an official post master for TP who will regulate regular mail, from hot delicious mail, and do we need to identify such packages against licking?
I have meat that needs to arrive safely to TBF is it best to mail, or send to the Montrose airport for pick up?
If we mailed a few hundred pounds of meat, and packaging to Montrose would there be pick up available, or do we need to arrange a meat uber.
Unfortunately we can’t make it this year, but we’ve hired a meat sculptors to make fish meat replicas of us and fly them to Montrose, that’s as far as we’ve got with getting the fish people to TBF!


Hello first time user, sorry to hear you won’t be making it this year in human form, but looking forward to meeting you in fish version. I do not know the answer to your question specific to aquatic life forms, alive or fried, but it’s entirely possible that your fish selves could get licked by not just the postmaster but every other degenerate in Town Park. However, I will say that a few years ago, during a fit of drunken tiny hands fun around the fire pit, we did order even more tiny hands on Amazon and they were delivered safe and sound directly to our camp by the TP postmaster’s assistant, who may or may not be a fish licker, but I say take your chances and ship away!


We found an air ship service that will fly fresh fish to Montrose, now gotta check if the shuttle to Telluride will haul them, might have to dress them up in clothes and get someone to be their “handler” to get them from the plane onto the shuttle. It was a mess trying to convince Southwest to board a “persons” without a DOB.


I mean, they have a DOB. They will just habe to travel to as unaccompanied minors.

Baaay beeee shark doo doo doo-doo doo-doo

Have you considered shipping them live? I know a guy at Parks and Wildlife who may be able to “borrow” one of their dispersal aircraft. Says he can’t guarantee an accurate drop into Bear Creek though…